Don't Say I Didn't Warn You...

I am fully aware of how lucky I am to have a publisher. I’m luckier than a… dang…as a writer, a simile here should be easier to write… But I digress…

As I have been promoting my upcoming work, I have also been thinking about the mistakes I’ve made along the way. And because I’ve never minded being the subject of a cautionary tale, I thought I’d share some of my bad choices if only to serve as a warning sign for future publishing travelers:

3. The End. Send.

“It’s finished,” I uttered in wonderment, staring at the blinking cursor as I typed The End at what I believed was the conclusion of my manuscript. “Well, time to start shopping it around! Now who is the lucky agent who gets to say yes first?”

12 rejections later… I realized my story may need some cleaning up.

One of the biggest newbie mistakes I made was that I finished my manuscript, and without the gut-wrenching editing process that I now understand is necessary, started querying. Yes, there are a lot of agents and publishers out there, but in the increasingly brutal publishing market, you don’t want to close any doors by sending out anything but your best work.   

2. Everyone wants what I’m selling. Wrong.

Much like the lone sausage vendor trying to sell his pork-laden products outside a vegetarian restaurant, not everyone is going to want what you’ve got. You have to know your market and write specifically for them. I spoke to a book promoter about what he could do to help me market and he talked about the thousands of websites to which he could email blast my synopsis. When I mentioned that my book might speak to a Christian audience, he said, “Oh, that’s great! Having some kind of target audience makes my job about 300-times easier.” Lesson learned: Even if you are handing out your hotdogs for free, if you aren’t targeting the right audience, no one’s gonna bite. Pun intended.

1. Not asking for help.

Please know I am typing this with the knowledge that scripture is scripture, and I have not written scripture. I believe that God inspires man to write when God needs something said. But, even though you may be writing something MUCH less important (and I do mean MUCH less), I believe our Father in Heaven wants us to develop our talents. I also believe He is willing to help us when we are doing something that is worthwhile. It never occurred to me to pray for help with writing since I wasn’t writing anything of a spiritual nature. I understand better now how happy it makes our Father when we develop the talents he gives us. When the work is clean and uplifting, anyone can ask for help. And help will come.    

So there they are folks! Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

I'm luckier than a cat with two scratching posts…Hmmm, yeah, I’ll keep working on that simile…

Village Idiot

Every single day, parents do their darndest to keep their little ones alive.  

“Don’t eat those poison mushrooms!”

“Leave that bear cub alone!”

“Don’t jump in the deep end of the pool without three pairs of floaties on!”

But what happens when the parents have done all they can? What happens when parents need help preparing their young for survival?

Well, the old adage tells us that the local butcher, baker, and even candlestick maker step in to help teach children as well. Because, as we’ve all heard- it takes a village to raise a child.

I understand this on a few different levels now. Firstly, thank goodness for good teachers who are helping my little ones learn things they refuse to let me teach them.

And secondly, I now realize how imperative it is to have a team of people who are amazing at their job to get a book ready for market. Because, as I extend the village metaphor, as a parent of a new book, I am now the equivalent of the village idiot.  

Example 1: My editor asked me to send her some ideas for the cover. Since I cannot even draw a straight line with a ruler, I am extremely grateful that there is someone out there who can take my fractured, vague ideas and makes them into a real-life picture to turn into a real-life cover.

Example 2: It turns out I know very little about the English language. I had no idea how many mistakes my manuscript had. So, thank goodness for the editorial grammar ninjas who actually paid attention in English class when the rest of us were writing notes to each other.

As it is with children, it takes a village to get a book ready for market survival. And being the equivalent of the village idiot on a book team isn’t so bad if you’ve got great people around you to make up the difference.

I’d love to hear from any traditional or self-pub people out there! Who has helped you in your journey to market?

Straight-up Escapism

 My husband, my two kids and I are driving home from a long day which included, among the usual craziness, following a tow-truck with my husband’s car on the back to the mechanic...again. It was just one of those long, never-ending days.
 Actual transcript of what my husband tells me happened in the car:
“Dad, what happens if a tow truck breaks down? Who tows a tow truck?”
“They have bigger tow trucks to tow broken tow trucks.”
“What happens when the biggest tow truck ever breaks down?”
“I don’t know Jake.”
“Mom?” My son paused, because I’m not answering. “Mom!” he yells. Nothing.
“Kristin, Jake’s yelling at you. You ok?”
“What? Sorry, I wasn’t listening to you guys. I was thinking about Disneyland.”
Escapism. I’m guilty of it in spades. In the tough, mundane moments, my mind wanders to things that are pleasurable, like the characters I am developing, a new story plot, or sometimes, apparently, Disneyland.
I belong to more than a few writing groups filled with moms about my age. Of course, we claim to write for fun, for relaxation, because it makes us feel fulfilled…not many of us mention straight-up escapism very often. And I’m not talking, “Oh, writing is such a fun escape for me.” I’m talking, “I can’t handle it anymore. I’m going to go pretend I’m someone else for a little while.”
Maybe it is a dirty little secret of the writer/mom. When the diapers and the screaming and the bills and the mess and the dishes and the piles of laundry get too big to handle, maybe some of us literary types write stories about everything but being a 30-something mom with a whole bunch of kids and a whole bunch of unmade beds.
This quote from Graham Greene hits home: “Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.”
Reality TV and ice cream work for a lot of people I guess. Me? Sometimes I write to escape.   Hey, it’s cheaper than a day at the spa.