Friday, August 23, 2013

Pill Popping, Text Language and Man Jewelry

All my chemo meds. Yeesh...
I got a call from my oncologist’s nurse yesterday. She was questioning my use of Ambien (a sleeping pill) Spanish Inquisition style. I had a 30 day supply that only lasted me 28 days. She was, in so many words, gravely concerned that I had turned into a pill-popping druggy. I launched into a lengthy explanation about how the nights when I was extremely sick from the chemo, I’d take another half-dose at 3 am to get me through to the morning, panicked words spilling from my mouth as I tried to make her understand. . . But then I remembered something. I’m over 30, I’m successful (compared to a homeless person), I am NOT a druggie and I don’t really have to explain myself to her.

At 22 years of age, a conversation like this would have had me all sweaty and scared, like I had been called into the principal’s office. I would have done everything I could to make sure that random nurse knew I wasn’t abusing my medication. 32-year-old me knows who I am and knows that the aforementioned conversation wasn’t worth my time.  And I told her that.
This got me thinking.  What is okay when you are twenty-something but not okay when you are thirty-something? What can you deal with when you are 20 but that same thing becomes un-deal-with-able when you cross that momentous line of being 30 years of age? Here’s my short list (because I think I could go on forever):
-          Anyone under the age of 80 calling me “hun” or “sweetheart”: Okay when you are 22, not okay when you are 32. And  boys, to you I am “Ma’am”, as in “yes, ma’am, I will hold the door open for you because I see you wrestling with two crazy children. Do you need help out to your car?”
-          Using text language: 20 and under? I chalk it up to immaturity and it being the cool thing to do. Fine. Anyone over 30 who texts me BRB, TY, or the letter U instead of you is not okay in my book. Plus, don’t we all have SIRI or the Windows equivalent now who writes our texts for us? Come on, our conversation is worth the extra three seconds. I deserve the whole “you”! Disclaimer: LOL is okay. We who are over 30 invented LOL. We are keeping it.
-          Sub-par service at a restaurant: At 22, if the food wasn’t perfect or if a waiter was sucky, I’d just shrug my shoulders and soldier on. But 30-me? You better bet I’m calling your backside over, waiter, to fix the food mistake. And if it is you, waiter, who is sucking, I’m old enough to feel obligated to call over your manager so you learn your lesson.
-          A lack of life insurance: “Don’t think about tomorrow, let’s live for today!” said every 20-year-old always. And that’s fun and romantic for a few years. But I think you can only carpe diem through life until you hit about 26, and then your back starts hurting. Shortly after that, you need to buy some life insurance… and have a job with health insurance…and have a car to buy some car insurance for.
-           Man jewelry: The cute surfer wearing a bunch of woven bracelets around each wrist? Fine. The dangerous looking young guy on the back of a motorcycle with gauged ears? Not my style, but understandable, young man, if are in your twenties. But ANY piece of man jewelry outside of a wedding ring on a guy over 30? Shut it down! By the way, gauged ear guy, your ears are gonna look KILLER when you are fifty.
So what is your take? What is no longer okay when you reach 30?
Also, does anyone else remember when this blog used to be about writing? I’ll get back on that.