Sunday, November 10, 2013

You want me to do WHAT??

I love Batman photo-bombing in the back

My book has been out for a couple of months now and I’ve seen some very interesting patterns developing. Here is my list of ten very strange things about having a published book: 

10. Readers finish the book it took me 4 EXCRUCIATING years to get written and published in 3 days. It should take longer, or maybe be more painful than that. I almost feel like saying, “Go back and read it again! You didn’t suffer with me enough yet!”

9. People ask you to sign things that are not bills, checks, receipts or loan documents.

8. People ask about your process. I should probably come up with a better answer than, “I spent a very long time either staring at my blank screen or looking at Facebook until a few disjointed ideas came together.”

7. Only people severely addicted to online shopping visit more than I do. Except I am only looking at my book’s page hoping for either a new review or my standing on Amazon’s best seller list to change.  

6. You get introduced as an author. I should make myself a nametag just to make it more official I think.

5. I’m supposed to have AND update a Twitter account. Twitter makes me feel like an old lady because I’m constantly mad about the lack of punctuation and run-on sentences I see on there dagnabit. Kids these days…

4. You realize the characters and storylines that have driven you nutso for years are now living in other people’s heads and, for better or worse, your work is now part of that person’s literary history.

3. You do a google search on how to write a screenplay. FYI- I don’t know that any good screenplay has started with the author googling “how to write a screenplay”.

2. The day your Facebook fan page gets joined by someone you actually don’t know is a BIG DAY!

1.      1. People start asking for a sequel. What the…? You want me to do what?? I have to do this again???